All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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