shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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