This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I didn't notice because vodka
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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