So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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