I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize