I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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