yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
