Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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