he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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