he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
