I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
