I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
