She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
