i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
