Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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