No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He passed out mid-signature
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
