Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
