it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
