I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
