fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
