...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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