Will you blow on my dice?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
