All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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