The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize