I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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