White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
