I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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