I wish I only lived at night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
