He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize