you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
