She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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