Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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