Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
