Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
