She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
