Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
