sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
