What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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