your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
