Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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