Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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