maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
