it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
