At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have post one night stand depression
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