my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
