He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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