Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
