He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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