She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
