I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
