her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize