I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
