I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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