I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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