you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
