Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
