Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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