I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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