Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sober January is a disaster.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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