Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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