just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
