i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
