either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
