Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
