New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
