the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
