3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
