You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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