why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
