You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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