sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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