I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
