Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
