piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
